Monday, November 1, 2010
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Once I stowed away on TRAX without buying a pass. Instead of being vigilant and watching for UTA cops to board, I zoned out and rode illegally with no regard for my own well being. So when the cop asked to see my ticket, I told him I had none.
"Step off the train with me, sir," he instructed. I obeyed. There was also a girl about my age that got busted and deboarded.
As the two cops walked us over to a bench, she whispered to me, "Please say you'll be my witness in all of this." I didn't know if she was talking about religion or what. The uniformed busters looked called her name and info in, and were told that the girl had been banned from riding TRAX until 2040. That's the year 2040. She gave them tons of lip and harassment, which ended up working in my favor, because when they came to me I fully fessed up to the error of my ways and gave them nothing but polite responses and meek countenance. I think they were so burned out on the hippy-hellion girl that they let me go with nothing but an official warning.
They still made me walk home, though.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Wednesday, January 21, 2009
I don’t know why nobody came up with the idea for Big Dump Utah sooner. It’s basically a single source for all things related to Utah skiers and snowboarders. It has current mountain weather conditions and five-day forecasts for every Utah resort, a place to buy or sell your gear as well as get brand new gear from some of Utah’s sweetest outdoor providers. It even has video games. While it is still in the growing process, it has already become a valuable resource for snowmonkeys from the Wasatch Range, and even up into Logan or way down willy near Brian Head.
It will eventually be fully rocking with discussion forums, killer deal notices, avalanche info and specialty shop, events postings, and instant powder email alerts, as well as pic-of-the-day, easy video upload, and the latest of mountain-related news. It’s sort of like an easier-to-navigate TGR, but focused primarily on Utah locals.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Monday, January 12, 2009
Once Holly and I went up to Jackson, Wyoming to climb the Middle Teton. If you've been in the Tetons, then you know of the magnetic effect they have on non-evil people. The effect they have on evil people is totally different--it's sort of like dipping a million needles in acid, then sticking them in your eyeballs and all over your face. You look freakier than Pinhead, that dude from all those scary movies back like ten to twenty years ago. What's up with scary movies having so many sequels? What's the point? So many of them have such a similar plot as each other, they might as well all be sequels of each other anyway, so why bother making one an official sequel of another? Many even crossbreed, like Freddy vs. Jason.
Anyway, we were trying to get to the top of the Middle Teton, but a huge storm came in and forced us off the mountain. We had to hike back down, crossing several steep glacier fields on the way. We had ice axes that had helped us get up, and we decided to glissade down the ice fields on our feet and/or butts, and use the axes as brakes so we wouldn't go rocketing out of control. I went first and slid about half way down, then stopped, turned around, and waited for Holly to come. She's totally hot and really athletic, so she stood in some sort of advanced European ski stance and started flying down towards me. She was going way too fast, so she spun around and hacked her axe into the ice. The axe stuck, but her speed caused the wrist strap to snap right off, sending her speeding helplessly down the glacier. At the bottom were rocks and boulders--she would certainly die if she hit them. She tried digging her hands and feet in, but it was to no avail.
My Terminator senses kicked in. I quickly moved into her path and slammed my axe into the ice as hard as I could. Then, using all the force I had, I kicked my feet into the snow so I'd have as much stable grip as possible. When she slid under me, I fell on top of her, stopping her. I then dee aitched her until my hips were sore. "I thought I was going to lose you," I cried. "You saved my life," she replied. We hugged and dee aitched some more right there on the glacier.
I still get the willies when I think of how close she came to kickin' the bucket. Right before this happened, we met a guy on the trail that told us a story of a woman that had died up there two weeks previous by losing her footing and sliding down a glacier. Holly is damn lucky to be alive. Too bad she broke her leg this New Year's Eve and is now in a cast that goes to her hip. Big Dump Utah, bigdumputah.com
Sunday, December 7, 2008
Dear Friend, this is urgent.
As you are probably aware, the Utah BLM, under mandate from President George W. Bush, will be auctioning off several parcels of Utah’s wildest and most beautiful land to big oil corporations on December 19th. This lease auction comes... Read the rest of this post at StateOfTheHive.blogspot.com
Monday, December 1, 2008
I had a robot named Andar when I was rich and lived in Morocco. He used to bring me food and rub my back. It wasn't until I was twelve that I realized he wasn't a robot at all, but a real live human being with feelings, emotions, and desires. My father had been exploiting him as a child slave and telling me he was a robot so I wouldn't feel bad for him or get attached. The one thing my father didn't count on was that I DID get attached and was planning to free the enslaved robot, but once I found out he was just a boring old human I put him to work double time, especially with the back rubs.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Since November 4th, the Obama hype has settled down considerably. The Proposition 8 discussion, however, continues on with immediate backlash and side effects. People opposed to the outcome are speaking out in despair and outrage, some going as far as to boycott the entire State of Utah (which means not visiting here, buying products from Utah-based companies, or in any other way putting money into the Utah economy—it’s very similar to the embargo the US has maintained against Cuba since JFK). People proud of the outcome are “bracing for persecution” as one email put it. I have received more chain letters, heard more people discussing, and read more online about Proposition 8 since the election than I did pre-November 4th. Being a Mormon has made it even more interesting for me as I hear arguments for one side from friends and co-workers (many of who are not LDS, though some are), and arguments for the other side from friends and family (many of who are LDS, though some are not).
I absolutely oppose the church’s involvement in the Proposition 8 issue and in anti-gay marriage efforts in general. I’d like to state the reasons why, as well as address the reasons people have given me for supporting it, and maybe even ask a few questions to those who favor Prop. 8, since I am perplexed as to why so many Mormons support what seems to me an obviously unfair and unchristian measure. I’m open to discussion and alternative ideas, and hope to learn from this discussion as well as maybe open people’s eyes to a different way of looking at it.
However, my letter to Prop. 8 is way too long to post here, so I've created another page for it. Click here to read it, and feel free to leave comments or questions. It might be cool if you left them on this here magicbones blog as well so people could see them without having to surf the webular.
Monday, November 10, 2008
There's a tv show on these days that teaches little kids sign language. I don't know what it's called, but I love the idea of it. Holly's little nephew was running around looking for something the other day and instead of screaming what it was he wanted, he kept doing the sign for it. His mom said it was kind of a mix between the sign for "dad" and the sign for "eat," so we never really knew exactly what he wanted, but the point is he was quiet instead of screaming. Like those German Shepherds whose voice boxes have been removed so that you don't hear them coming before they attack you. That's some seriously messed up and scary as crap stuff ... can you imagine being attacked by a stealth killing machine that never makes a sound? That's what I'm like when I play hoops.
Monday, November 3, 2008
I recently read an article written by Mormon author Orson Scott Card in which Card places nearly full blame for today's economic disaster on Bill Clinton specifically, as well the Democratic party in general. I will never affiliate myself with either of the two main parties, I think they are both beyond corrupt. However, Card's argument leads us deeper into a dark hole of getting suckered and then sucker-punched by corporate power that controls our politicians and our government's policies, thus removing any "Is this what's truly right for the people?" thought to be allowed to cross our "leader's" minds. To read Card's article, go here. This is my response. If it's too long, break it up and read a paragraph a day. The response is actually much shorter than I would like to give, it's just that I didn't want to lose any readers by dragging on. If you'd like more, you're welcome to ask me personally about how I feel on any of the points brought up below. Here we go: