Fight For Your Right To Party: The Legal and Moral Victory Against a Soul and Money Sucking Shark

Holly and I went to the city planning commission’s public hearing on Wednesday to show our support for rejecting Wal-Mart’s bid to be granted a rezoning of its property on Parley’s Way. A rezoning of the property would have changed it from allowing a 15,000sq ft. building to allowing a 200,000sq ft. building. As some of you know, I have a great dislike (one might even call it burning hatred) for Sam Walton’s Box Store Gone Wild, Spring Break Edition. I hold it specifically responsible for many dishonest and crooked businesses practices at least, and several blatantly unethical and severely immoral crimes against humanity in general and individuals (both foreign and domestic) in particular at most.

But this hearing wasn’t about whether or not to allow Wal-Mart to build a store at said location—it has already purchased the land and is going to build a store there—rather, it was whether or not to allow them a rezone which would up dramatically the size of store they would be allowed to build. The hearing was packed—standing room barely. The room was chock-full of neighbors from the general vicinity of where the new store will be, as well as seven commission members, two mediator-type fellers, and a few reporters and cameramen.

And there on the front row in expensive suits, leather shoes that were shinier than a bucket of brand new pennies, and hairdos that could put Pat Sajak AND Vanna White to shame, sat an attack squadron of four highly trained you-don’t-look-like-you’re-from-‘round-here Wal-Mart lawyers. Their perfectly straight and white teeth made a shimmering glimmering fence that separated the people from the politicians, the masses from the masters, the locals from the legislatives. They presented their cookie-cutter case just as they had countless times before at countless other city meetings, probably word for word. In fact, I can’t prove that they weren’t high-tech holograms beamed in directly from Superstore headquarters in Bentonville, Arkansas. I never saw anyone touch them, they seriously could have been holograms.

After giving their pretty PowerPoint presentation (via projector, a.k.a. 2-dimensional hologram…the evidence is adding up), they smugly sat down and the public was given time to speak—two minutes per person, five minutes if you were speaking on behalf of a neighborhood council. I’d say thirty to forty people stood up at the podium to speak their mind, and out of forty people maybe three spoke in favor of approving Wal-Mart’s request. The rest spoke with wisdom and experience, articulately and effectively. Several WM claims were opened and exposed for the lies that they were, and in the end the shiny-toothed lawyers sat humiliated in their expensive suits, fumbling for excuses and fake explanation attempts.

When the planning commission cast its vote of 7 – 0 in favor of rejecting Wal-Mart’s request, happy sighs swept across the room. The crowd didn’t erupt in applause—this wasn’t a football rally or political party national convention. Instead, everyone smiled and hugged or shook hands with those around them and said “We did it” and “I’m so glad.” A sense of power filled the small individuals in the room who had come together and fought against an invading Goliath. People were reminded, or maybe learned for the first time, that you don’t have to be a huge company, a government, a wealthy organization to accomplish something big or to defend yourself against something giant and dark. It was a good lesson for me and I hope that it sparks the motivation to fight harder and more often on the side of good and against those things that are fundamentally bad, wrong, even evil.